


The Hitchhiker's Guide to Cray

by LittleLinor



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: HUMANS ON CRAY au, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-14 07:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLinor/pseuds/LittleLinor
Summary: Kazuma falls into Luard's arms—quite literally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "But Lin, did you really need to write more Luard/Kazuma" I didn't but I sure did.  
> I'M NOT SURE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS, but there's gonna be shenanigans and bonding over oniichans and potentially smut at some point?
> 
> I'm sorry this au is so silly.  
>  ~~Disclaimer: I have not read H2G2~~

“Luard,” Morfessa called out, pushing the door to his laboratory without even knocking, “you're going out.”  
Luard looked up from his books.  
“What? No I'm not—you saw what happened last time.”  
“An Earth human showed up on our scrying in the forest on the border with Dark Zone. They'll get their hands on him first if you're not quick.”  
“So what? Aren't the Golds being sent out for this kind of thing? Keeping the humans safe is _their_ jurisdiction.” He sighed. “They've been popping up all over the place, too.” And now they wanted to send _him_ out, when he was still wanted and still hadn't found a proper lead to Shiranui's location. “Why should I care whether Dark Zone gets their hands on one or two.”  
She smiled.  
“Because this one is yours.”

 

Kazuma Shouji liked to think he was a pretty resourceful guy. He'd gotten used to taking care of himself, knew how to cook, knew the city better than most people, had basic notions of several martial arts, and a hundred little half-learned skills from all the books he'd read as a kid. Sure he'd never lived in the wilderness before, but he'd _read_ a lot about it, and considering the shock of being dropped in this weirdass forest to begin with, he thought he'd been doing pretty well with his campfire and his scavenged fruit.  
That had been until the area's fauna had woken up and found him (it turned out, wherever this was, too many of its animals were nocturnal).  
And so he'd spent the last day up a tree. It wasn't _perfect_ , and the first tree he'd climbed up had turned out to be _alive_ so he'd had to run and switch, but at least he was away from most claws, and that was good enough for him.  
At least as far as water would last.  
_Where_ is _this place anyway?_  
Even with the forest so dense, his tree had allowed him a clearer view of the sky. And he'd been—strangely not too freaked out to find out that this probably wasn't earth.  
_Shock_ , he'd told himself. _It'll hit me fully later._  
Possibly whenever something actually managed to pull him down from his tree. Two birds with one stone—hey, I'm being eaten, and it just happens to be on an alien planet.  
He realised he was rambling even in his thoughts and pulled his knees closer to his chest.  
_What do I even do in this situation..._  
No signal for his phone, no more means to make fire (if that would have helped at all), no idea how to navigate with the sky so alien. Was there even a point in trying? The most he could probably do was delay the inevitable; even if he made it a day or two more, with no means to call for help, he'd die soon anyway.  
He was starting to think that he should just give up and let himself fall into whatever monster seemed most likely to end him in one hit—no suffering, being wounded and left to die would _suck_.  
Guilt flared in his chest, and it sounded a lot like Chrono.  
_You don't know until the end of the fight! There's still a chance!_  
Where's my heal trigger now, huh? he asked, bitterly, less at Chrono and more at himself.  
_I want to see your smile._  
Luna Yumizuki, who'd reminded him that no matter his goals, he should try to enjoy the situation he was living too.  
_I'm sorry… I'm not sure what I could smile about right now._  
The chance to see a new scenery, maybe. But what was the point if he was going to die?  
He looked down. Something was circling his tree again—he wasn't sure _what_ , but the glowing eyes and the fangs that reflected said light weren't too promising.  
And then, suddenly, the beast's ears went up—and it ran.  
“Wh...”  
He blinked. Leaned down a little—the forest was silent, as if holding its breath, and there was nothing else under his tree.  
_… well, maybe this is my chance._  
The forest shook with sudden impact, the trees seemed to bend, and Kazuma almost fell off, barely gripping his branch on time and hanging upside down from it.  
“Wh—shit!”  
He winced, trying to get rid of the ringing in his ears. But as he looked up, he saw more trees fall in the distance—and then less in the distance. Whatever it was, it was getting closer.  
_I need to get away… out of its path, at least; if I can angle to the right…_  
Too late—his body was already at its limit, his hands refusing to let go of the tree while his legs trembled. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes as the commotion got closer.  
And then silence.  
He held his breath. Kept his eyes tightly shut.  
_Just go away..._  
“…. not bad.”  
He blinked, opening his eyes and turning his head in the direction of the voice. Right under him, something that _looked_ like a person, he wasn't sure at this point through the darkness and exhaustion.  
“C'mon, kid. Get down.”  
“I...” He swallowed to try and get his voice back—when had it gotten so hoarse? “I can't… arms won't stop trembling. If I let go of anything I'll fall.”  
The man sighed.  
“Fall, then. I'll catch you.”  
“Huh!?”  
“I said I'll catch you. Come on, I don't have all day.”  
He considered his options. They were close to none, honestly; no matter how hard he tried, this person sounded healthy at the very least, which was a definite advantage on him.  
And that was without the whole explosion and tree-breaking business.  
_I'll just have to trust him. Better chances than with that wolf-like thing, anyway._  
“… okay.”  
He closed his eyes tight, took a shaky breath, and let go.  
Half a second of air rushing past him, and he landed into someone's arms, his air knocked out of his lungs a little.  
“Oof...”  
“… you look terrible. How long have you been up there?”  
“Couple of days...” he started, then trailed off as he got a better look at his (hopefully) saviour. The strange shape that had made him wonder if he was human at all was, in fact a hat.  
A familiar hat.  
“… I'll be sure to tell Morfessa that her scrying needs practice,” the man holding him grumbled. Then he sighed. “Can you walk?”  
He shook his head. Another sigh, and this time the man tightened his hold, straightening.  
“No helping it, then. Hang on tight and don't scream.”  
One of his arms hardened under Kazuma, grew, and he grit his teeth to stop himself from making any noise, gripping at the man's coat with one hand—after a first awkward failed attempt that had only met skin.  
His arm was now fully wrapped around him. On his back, wings grew, stretching outwards, flapping once. With his free hand, he hung on to his hat.  
“Let's go.”  
He rose, flying up in bursts as his powerful wings flapped, and as they got past the decimated treetops and into moonlight proper, Kazuma was finally able to confirm his suspicions on the not-so-stranger's face.  
_It really is him._  
Luard started flying, and within minutes, Kazuma had passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two, or: Why Are Shadow Paladins So Cute
> 
> Also thanks for indulging my silly au

When he woke up, the first sensation he became aware of was how awfully _dry_ his mouth was. His tongue was glued to his palate, and he felt kinda sick.  
“Urgh...”  
He winced and tried to open his mouth, and felt movement next to him.  
Immediately, the paranoia of the last two days came back, and his eyes flew open. The boy who'd been bent over him gasped and jumped back with a little yelp.  
“A-ah, sorry!”  
He tried to talk, but only managed a weak grunt. His head, now that his body was starting to wake up, was killing him.  
Trying to sit was just as useless. He felt so _weak_.  
“Calm down, Knies.”  
He blinked at the familiar voice. Luard walked into the room—was the door just open? He couldn't tell from where he was, and attempting to turn on his side felt much too hard to do right now. But he did turn his head to look at him.  
Luard had left his hat behind, this time, and without it his surprisingly delicate figures and blond hair were easily recognisable.   
“Already awake, huh? You're sturdier than you look,” Luard said, coming closer. And then, to Kazuma's surprise, his eyes fell aside a little, his mouth twisting a little awkwardly. “Look, I'm sorry it took us so long to find you. We weren't really on the lookout for visitors, this place is supposed to be secret. The regular army's supposed to handle humans who fall here, I don't know why they didn't get to you before we did.”  
Kazuma stared at him in silence, surprised by the change in attitude. But when he tried to tell him that it was okay, his mouth still stayed stuck.  
Luard looked back at him, and this time he was annoyed.  
“Look, I apologised, are you going to continue the silent treatment for long?”  
He winced.  
“I...” It hurt. “Wa—ter. Hurts.”  
Luard's eyes widened.  
“Right. Knies!”  
“Yes sir?”  
“Get the pitcher of water from my room and a glass.”  
Knies nodded and ran off. Kazuma closed his eyes for a second, releasing a sigh through his nose.  
“We did try to make you drink,” Luard pointed out, “but we didn't get much in. You're going to need some proper food, too, honeyed water only goes so far.”  
He nodded, or did an imitation of one, anyway. Thankfully, it seemed to be enough for Luard, who sat on a nearby stool and leaned back a little, observing him.  
He was acting casual, but there was something distrustful about the way he looked at him, as if hiding behind his own features to watch without being seen. Like Kazuma was a mystery he couldn't quite figure out—or an unexploded bomb.  
Footsteps echoed past the entrance to the room. Falling feet on stone—stairs?  
“Here's the water!”  
Luard turned to take the pitcher from his hands and poured Kazuma a glass, before shuffling his stool closer and slipping an arm under his back.  
“Come on, sit up.”  
Kazuma winced and tried his best to sit with his help. Luard brought the glass to his lips, then tipped it slightly when he opened his mouth.  
Somehow, they managed the miracle of not spilling half of it. Luard's movement were surprisingly precise.  
Water fell down his throat, and he had to struggle not to cough; he squeezed his eyes shut to fight it and made himself swallow the rest before opening them again. Luard took the glass away and filled it again.  
“Take it easy, I don't want you throwing it back up.”  
He winced.  
 _Yeah I sure don't either_ , he wanted to say, but he opted to save his energy and waited for the second glass instead, this time letting it linger a bit in his mouth before swallowing.  
The pain in his mouth and head dimmed a little, although his throat still felt raw. He took in a deep sigh as Luard took the glass away, feeling a tiny bit more alive.  
“… thanks,” he forced out with a sigh.  
“You're welcome. Another one?”  
“Maybe… in a few minutes...”  
Luard nodded and put the pitcher back on the table.

Kazuma sighed and leaned back. With the thirst's edge dulled, the pain in the rest of his body flared up as if complaining about being ignored, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep. But Luard stayed right where he was, observing him again.  
“… what is it?” he finally asked?  
“I take it you don't know how you got here either?”  
He shook his head, then the meaning of his words reached his brain.  
“Either? I'm… not the first?”  
“There's been dozens over the last few months. We have no idea where you're all coming from.”  
“I just… fell asleep… and then I was falling.”  
Luard looked at him in silence, as if judging whether he was lying or not, then sighed.  
“That doesn't help us much then. Although since I have you on hand I can probably run a few tests...”  
Kazuma tensed, and Luard looked back at him with a small dismissive movement of his hand.  
“I'm not going to hurt you—this is observation, not experimentation. We need to determine what's making you all come here.”  
“… this is Cray, isn't it?”  
Luard eyed him, before asking: “Yes. Aren't you a little calm about all this?”  
“I think my panic died when I started starving. I'm sure it'll come back though.”  
Luard's eyes stayed sharp on him, almost cutting, but he was used to stares; people disapproving of him was his natural habitat, after all. And then, to his surprise, Luard let out something halfway between a sigh and a snort, and _smiled_.  
Not even a smirk, or the cynical or passive aggressive smiles he was used to getting from adults. Something genuine, maybe even amused in the most honest meaning of the word. Good natured and surprisingly gentle.  
“… what?”  
“You really are tougher than you look,” Luard said. “Although I suppose it's not that surprising.”  
“Huh?”  
“Nothing. Do you want more water?”  
He nodded, and this time sitting up was a little easier. He drank another glass with help, and started feeling a little more alive.  
His eyes were still killing him, though. If he was completely honest, he wanted that water splashed over his face.  
He had a feeling Luard wouldn't be gentle with it, though, so he held back the thought. He'd be able to get up sooner or later.  
“… thanks, by the way.”  
“Hm?”  
“For rescuing me. I thought I was dead, honestly.” _Although the most scary part might actually have been you_ , he didn't add. He had only met him for a few minutes, but he was starting to get a sense for his personality, and Luard was straightforward enough that he would probably take the comment badly.  
“Don't worry about it,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “You're just lucky you landed on our side.”  
“Your side?”  
“Of the border. You weren't far from Dark Zone; that would have been a lot more troublesome. They're not exactly gentle in their approach.”  
“Really?”   
“You seem sceptical.”  
“Well—the two people I can think of who play Dark Zone clans are more on the kind and gentle side.” _Plus Tokoha's teammate_ , he added mentally. Taiyou had told him he'd once been involved in some shady shit, but the dude looked like he'd feel bad if he accidentally stepped on a spider.  
“They might not be strongly linked to their clans,” Luard started, and Kazuma was about to question whether anyone could be more strongly linked to their clan than Chrono when he continued: “or if they are, the traits that bond them to their units might not be the most obvious to the naked eye.”  
“… 'bonded'?”  
Luard raised an eyebrow slightly.  
“Why do you think you're here?”  
“… I have no idea? I thought that was the point of you interrogating me.”  
“I'm not inte—” He trailed off. “… Oh. I suppose I was. Sorry.”  
“It's fine. But what did you mean?”  
“The bond that links our planets and people goes both ways. We acquire… a certain level of familiarity with some people from your world. Some form unique bonds with one individual in particular, and can even communicate with them to some extent.”  
 _Communicate..._  
A nauseating doubt crept into his mind, but he kept it hidden for now.  
“So what's it do with m—” He stopped. “… oh.”  
“We haven't reached that point,” Luard said, somewhat hurriedly. “I didn't want to rely on Earth humans. But you are the one who's most strongly bonded to me, yes.”  
“… is that why you rescued me?”  
“… to be honest, when they just told me a human had appeared, I wanted to leave it up to the regular army.” He paused, then looked away. “I hadn't quite realised how dire your situation was until I saw it firsthand. I'm sorry.”  
 _Huh._  
“… it's fine.”  
“I know what it is to be hunted...” He shook his head. “Well, consider my hospitality an apology. Once you can walk, you're free to roam the castle as you wish, except for people's private quarters and the high security labs, of course. Ah, but don't leave the castle alone. It can get a little—spirited.”  
“… the _castle_?”  
“Yes. These living castles are perfect for defense and useful as a moving base, but they do have some drawbacks. And even if I gave you the password—well, it should probably get a little used to you first. That aside, you're defenseless.”  
Well, he had a point with that last comment, at least. Kazuma sighed.  
“Well,” he said, trying to get his composure back, “it's not like I can walk around right now anyway.”  
Luard smiled.  
“You'll be on your feet quickly. Do you think you can eat yet?”  
“… I don't know. I'm hungry but… maybe something light?”  
“I'll see what I can do. I need to get back to work right now, but I'll send something soon.”  
Kazuma nodded.  
“Thanks.”

Ten minutes after Luard and Knies left, the boy returned with a tray.  
“Um, Master Luard said I should keep an eye on you for now in case you get sick...”  
“Oh. Yeah that's fine.”  
Knies smiled. He was pretty cute, although the fidgeting almost made Kazuma nervous by association.  
“I got you some tea too,” he said, putting the tray down on Kazuma's bedside table.  
Aside from the pot of tea and ceramic cup, there was a plate, with two slices of bread glistening with a thin layer of what looked like honey.  
His stomach twisted painfully at the sight. He repressed a groan and tried to reach for the plate.  
“Ah, I'll help.”  
Knies handed him the bread, and he grit his teeth and forced himself to shift to lie on his side so he could bite into it himself.  
The sweetness was slightly nauseating to his empty stomach, but to his tastebuds and tired brain, it was like heaven. He repressed a whimper of relief and forced himself to chew slowly rather than eat the whole thing in seconds.  
“Is it okay?” Knies asked.  
“Y-yeah,” he pushed out between two struggling bites. “I'm just… taking it slow.”  
Having him watch while he ate was making him nervous, too. But he forced himself to focus and keep eating until it was all done.  
“… phew. I needed that.”  
“Do you want some tea?”  
“… yeah if you don't mind. Can you help me sit up a bit?”

With some help, he found himself more or less comfortably positioned and started sipping on the tea Knies had poured him.   
The first sip was somehow both bitter and acidic. He made a face.  
“What's in this thing?”  
“It's Master Luard's personal blend. The leaves are some of the strongest you can find, and the flowers are imported all the way from Zoo.” He hesitated, then added: “He doesn't usually share it, but he told me to bring you some. He said, 'it will give him some energy'.”  
“'m not sure energy drinks are the solution here,” he grumbled, but the tea was at least clearing his head a little, so he made himself drink more. Slowly. “… can I ask a question?”  
“Of course!”  
He actually seemed genuinely excited about it. Kazuma decided it was probably a good thing—he'd have a better chance at learning things this way.  
“Where are we exactly—and what did he mean about the castle?”  
“This is the Demon World Castle Eingang. It's alive… sort of.”  
“So we're _inside_ the moving, living castle?”  
“Yes.”  
“So is the gate its mouth or—nevermind, forget I asked, I don't want to know.” He sighed. “He said we're close to Dark Zone, but… I know nothing about Cray's geography. I wasn't even sure it _existed_.”  
“I can find you a map later, if you want. We are further away from the border now, but it seems the place you arrived really was close.”  
He nodded, and went back to drinking his tea.  
“… you're cuter than I thought,” he mused out loud, before his brain could tell him not to be an idiot.  
“Huh?”  
He really did need more sleep.  
“The card art—you're cuter in person. In terms of personality, I mean.”  
“Oh.” He started smiling, then sighed. “I'll never be a proper fighter at this rate.”  
“Come again?”  
“I'm… I'm not supposed to be cute. If I am, then it means I haven't been growing up yet. I need to be cool… like Master Luard and Lady Morfessa.”  
Right. It made sense for her to be there too.  
“Your strength's got nothing to do with that. People look up to strong and kind people you know?”  
“I know, but…” He sighed. “I'm lagging so far behind, in skill too. It feels like no matter what I do, I'll never catch up to them.” Before Kazuma could say anything, he gave a little derisive laugh and shook his head, looking back up brightly and changing the subject. “Did you really come from Earth? What's it like?”  
“… depends where,” Kazuma said, deciding not to push. “The part I live in is a huge city.”  
Knies nodded, then stayed silent, cut short by his own choice of topic. Kazuma sighed.  
“Look. You can ask me more later if you want. I can tell you some stuff once I've rested.”  
He tried hard not to think too much about what he'd do then. Right now, recovering was a priority. But what about after that?  
Was he stuck? Would he be forced to stay on Cray? Had anyone on Earth noticed he was missing yet? Chrono? Taiyou? His family would find out _eventually_ , too, and _that_ would be interesting to deal with if he went back.  
 _Still better than staying stuck here… probably._  
“Um… Mister...”  
“Oh, I didn't give you my name?” Luard had acted like he knew him, so it hadn't occurred to him that they didn't know.  
“I think Master Luard knows it, but he didn't tell us.”  
“It's Kazuma. Kazuma Shouji.” He tried his best to give a small smile, to reassure him. “Pleased to meet you and all that.”  
Knies smiled.   
“Pleased to meet you too. Although you already know my name.”  
“Heh.” He hesitated, then asked. “Is he… always like this?”  
“Master Luard?”  
“Yeah.”  
“… what do you mean 'like this'?”  
“He's, uh. Very lively.”  
“Oh. Um, Master Luard can be a very straightforward person. But he is a good person—and a genius. His shifting itself is impressive considering he joined us recently, but the research he's done is invaluable—I heard other high ranking wizards gossip about it,” he added, bending closer to whisper too as if someone else might hear him.  
“About what? The research?”  
Knies nodded.  
“Some of the older wizards don't like him—they think he's arrogant because he's so good at what he does. But they don't want to get rid of him because the research he does is useful. Even the things he can't do himself yet have been put in practice by others.” He sighed. “It's not true though… Master Luard doesn't talk a lot, but when you know him a little… well, he's not arrogant. If anything, he thinks what he's done isn't enough. I think he's trying very hard because he started later than everyone else.”  
“He did?”  
“Most of us start as children—but he used to be a knight.”  
Kazuma blinked.  
“Him? Really?” _With that flashy dress style?_  
“He trained there for years, but left them after an incident, and then joined us. I'm… still not sure why. But he's undeniably talented for magic.”  
He nodded.  
“… and then last year… he left to go on a journey. And when he came back… he seemed even more frustrated than before. And he's been working even harder since.” He paused. “When he went to get you, it was the first time in days he left the lab for anything other than eating or being summoned. So… in a way...” He stopped and looked away. “I'm sorry. You probably don't want to be here.”  
“… well I might as well be useful for _something_.”  
“That's...”  
“… I'd probably go mad otherwise, so. Don't worry about it.”  
Knies hesitated, then nodded.  
“Um...”  
“Yeah?”  
“When you feel better… if Master Luard doesn't do it himself, do you want me to take you around the castle? It can be a bit tricky to navigate, especially when it moves. The corridors sometimes change place,” he added when Kazuma looked at him in alarm.  
 _Well that's gonna be fun._  
“… yeah sounds good.”  
Knies smiled. Kazuma smiled back, just a little; he still felt grim, but the boy had something about him that made it hard to be mad or sad around him. A brightness that made you want to share it.  
 _I want to see your smile..._  
Well, he'd better try to hold that promise. If nothing else, it'd help keep him sane.  
“… I think I need to rest,” he said, the dizzying fog behind his eyes getting a little too much for him. “But you can show me later.”  
“I'll bring you more food when you wake up!”  
“Yeah… thanks.”

**Author's Note:**

> ~~Can you believe I'm not writing in second person for once~~


End file.
